Editor’s note: The response was overwhelming for Steve and Lynelle’s Aug. 12 column concerning circumcision. Look for a wrap-up of comments and Steve and Lynelle’s responses to them on Sept. 2.

Dear Steve and Lynelle,

I am 29 years old and have been engaged twice. The first engagement ended because we were high school sweethearts who went to college. The second ended because I realized there were issues neither of us could get past. After this last breakup, I decided I don’t want to be married or have a serious relationship for awhile. Well, once again, I started dating a man six months ago who just popped the question. I really like this guy, and was excited he asked me to marry him, but now I regret saying yes. My dilemma this time is that I don’t want to break it off with him completely. I want to continue dating him, I just don’t know if I’m ready to marry him. I’m afraid he’s not going to understand. How do I tell him how I feel without him walking out on me?

Steve: You’re a romantic with cold feet. Why you said yes for a third time is beyond me. I don’t know what issues you’ve had in the past, but you dread making a commitment.

Understand this: You’ll never meet Mr. Right and you’ll never find Mr. Perfect. Somewhere along the line you’ll have to compromise your dreams and enter into a relationship where you have to give as well as take. I don’t know what’s the matter with the current guy, but I guarantee there is something wrong with all men (and women too). But, then, this is about you.

Right now, you don’t want to get married. Period, no matter who it is. My advice is don’t force it. You’ll both be miserable.

You’ll have to talk to your fiancé about it, and he’s probably not going to take it well since you’ve already said yes. Why do you want to continue dating him when he’s ready for the next level and you’re not? The only way you could do that is to keep dangling the carrot of marriage, and that’s not fair to him. Be up front about it, but expect him to say adios.

Lynelle: I have a positive reaction and a more Steve-like reaction to this situation. So, I’m offering both opinions, and you can choose which you like best.

The positive: If your fiancé loves you and wants to marry you then he may just understand you need more time. Six months isn’t exactly a long time to even know someone, so he might understand that you two just need more time to grow together. Still, be honest with him and don’t dangle marriage “like a carrot” as Steve put it. Be upfront and honest with this man. Tell him there could be a possibility of no marriage after more time as well. Explain to him that you love him and that is why you are being honest.

The Steve-like answer: I am curious to know why you choose to lead men on to the point of marriage when you obviously know you don’t want to be married. Any girl could get caught up when a shiny ring is handed to her, but most women know to say, “I love you, but I’m not ready.” To me, being engaged is already making the commitment to marry. It’s not a time to think or get to know a person better — when the ring goes on the finger, the commitment is made. Don’t say yes unless you mean it. Not only is it mean, but it’s downright selfish to cause three men — not just one — to go through the pain of losing the one they thought they would marry.

You have some men left in your wake. I suggest you not even date for quite some time. Find out what you want from life, then decide if you want another person to join you on that journey. Engagements — and especially marriage — shouldn’t be taken as lightly as you see them. And give this man back his ring!

Steve and Lynelle want to give you advice! They are always looking for good questions to answer, so pass on your drama, dating disasters, relationship woes and any problems that come your way. Write to them at steveandlynelle@heraldbulletin.com or send a letter to them at 1133 Jackson St., Anderson, IN 46016. Too frustrated to write? Call (765) 640-4863. Advice columnists Steve Dick and Lynelle Miller bring unique perspectives to your problems each Tuesday.