Overall, it was a fairly disgusting picture. At least we didn't stink. Yet.
Shawn T was on the television. Suddenly we were warming up, marching. "Bring those knees up high," he encouraged.
Seth marched, each leg rising and falling on the hardwood floor like a battering ram. Thud, thud, thud. A table lamp in the living room vibrated.
Fifteen minutes later, we were on the floor. "Work that core," said Shawn T.
I noticed Seth seemed to have pooped out and was lying perfectly still. "You are supposed to be flexing and lifting stuff," I said.
"You're not even moving!" I insisted.
"You just can't see it. It's all internal." He had sweat on his forehead, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
Five minutes later Shawn T had us in yet another position. "Theresa, I can feel something wiggling in my back," Seth said.
I tried to reassure him. "It's not a tumor. It's just fat jiggling." I was having my own troubles, since every muscle in my stomach had apparently atrophied at some point in the last 25 years and any work that involved 'the core' was being forcibly assumed by the muscles in my neck. Which made my face turn red. Plus my head seemed unnaturally heavy.
When the countdown clock on the TV screen ran out of seconds, Shawn T said the magic word. "TIME!" (For the record, 25 minutes with Shawn T was a lot longer than your generic 25 minutes.)
Seth flopped into his recliner. I collapsed in a heap on the floor. We were a middle-aged couple whose muscles were made of mashed potatoes and Klondike Bars.
A couple of weeks have passed since that first workout. I would like to tell you that Seth's belly is flat and my head is skinnier. Or that our 25-minute workout has become a breeze. But that wouldn't be the truth. We have a lot more weeks of "Focus" ahead of us.
Humor aside...we can't fight aging. But maybe we can do our part in 2014 to make growing older a little more comfortable, as much as is within our control?
I'll keep you posted...
Theresa Timmons’ column appears every first and third Sunday. She is an Elwood resident and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.