The Herald Bulletin

Evening Update

Columns

November 8, 2013

Verna Davis: God is God, we are not — get used to it

If I were in charge of the world, I would make sure that under-eye concealers would actually conceal the bags under my eyes. I would make my cheeks blush only when I want them to, and my lipstick would never wear off. I would make my eyes do their own "bifocaling" so I would no longer need glasses. And that's just to take care of my face.

If I were in charge of the world, I would make sure that creme-filled doughnuts would have no calories. Lettuce would never wilt and milk would never sour. Butter would always melt on your pancakes. And that's just to take care of things until supper.

If I were in charge of the world, I would declare extra large and extra soft flannel jammies are now the epitome of elegant evening wear. I would make sure that clothes would never again shrink in the dryer. I would declare ironing out of date, as wrinkles would now be high fashion. I would make all shoes, even those dressy little numbers with narrow straps and high heels, be as comfortable as last season's tennis shoes. And that's just to take care of my closet.

If I were in charge of the world, I would program my husband to periodically inquire on any car trip of over five miles, "How about stopping at that cute little quilt shop you like so much?" All teenagers would ask three times a day "What else can I do to help you, Mom?" All snakes would be extinct and poison ivy would no longer be poisonous. And that's just to take care of little old me.

If I were in charge of the world, I would make sure that everyone in the church loved each other deeply. I would make arguments over music magically disappear. I would make sure women never again engaged in a battle of who reigns supreme in the kitchen or nursery. Sermons would be theologically sound, intellectually stimulating, and sufficiently humorous to keep my attention, yet never last more than the obligatory 20 minutes. And that's just to take care of my church.

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Columns
  • underwood mug [Duplicate] [Duplicate] Scott Underwood: Headlines can capture imagination I'd just left the newspaper office one morning and was driving north on Jackson Street, when I stopped at a red light and glanced at the rearview mirror.

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  • Charo Boyd: 'My Social Security' simplifies your life So many people buzz through extremely busy and complicated schedules these days. A smartphone in one hand, a computer in front of you, and a digital task list that never seems to end. In addition, to complicate things just a little more, there’s another event you need to add to your list — National Simplify Your Life week.

    July 28, 2014

  • Maureen Hayden: 9/11 Commission chair scolds Congress for national security failures Retired Congressman Lee Hamilton has warned of the perils of political ideology, calling the body where he spent 34 years “noxiously partisan.” Now, he worries the divide is downright dangerous.

    July 27, 2014

  • Vaughan, Nancy mug [Duplicate] Nancy Vaughan: Fireworks and fireflies mean summer in full swing Hasn't July been a fabulous month? It began with multiple fireworks venues and parades and ends with fairs and football in full swing. We have been blessed with mild weather and if you haven't had to travel much outside of the county, roadwork has been minimal.

    July 26, 2014 1 Photo

  • Ken de la Bastide: City unions go without contracts for many years How Anderson deals with unions has changed dramatically over the years. In the past it would have been unheard of for union members to continue to work without a contract or an agreed upon deadline. But members of three unions that represent Anderson city employees have been working without a new contract agreement for up to seven years.

    July 26, 2014

  • Jim Bailey: Traveling by passenger train was a page from the past My wife doesn’t remember riding on a full-fledged passenger train as a baby. Our children have never ridden. It’s an experience rapidly going the way of the horse and buggy and the stagecoach throughout a nation now obsessed with jumbo jets and sport-utility vehicles.

    July 26, 2014

  • Howard Hewitt: When it comes to wines, small can be very good Repeating the familiar is an easy way to go through life as is taking the safe road. We all do that but find unexpected rewards when taking the path less traveled. That little bit of philosophy applies to visiting wine country.

    July 26, 2014

  • Maleah Stringer: Hats off to the staff at Animal Protection League I often talk about the wonderful volunteers and community support we have at the Animal Protection League. And that volunteers are every non-profits "life blood" this is true for the Animal Protection League as well.

    July 26, 2014

  • Clark, Big Joe mug 'Big Joe' Clark: Beat the market or meet your goals? True or not, my experience tells me that goals – especially when written down – undoubtedly serve as catalysts for success. However, danger arises when a goal does not properly focus on the long term result you expect.

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • Verna Davis: Seek peace by turning from evil and doing good There's something we all want: peace. World peace. Family peace. Personal peace. We yearn for peace, a feeling of freedom from commotion and antagonism, of harmony in our relationships, of lack of strife or dissension. What would we do to have peace in our lives?

    July 25, 2014

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