The Herald Bulletin

Morning Update

Columns

April 17, 2014

Jim Bailey: It’s a rough life when you’re six years old going on adulthood

Everyone in the house in Greenfield was asleep except my daughter Ruth. She was downstairs getting some work done while things were quiet.

Suddenly a blood-curdling scream rang out. It was Gracie, 6, hollering for her mama. From the tone of the screams emanating from the second floor, Ruth wondered what in the world had happened to her child. She sprang from her chair, rushed to the stairway, bounding up the staircase five steps at a time to rescue her darling daughter from whatever demons were tormenting her.

She found Gracie in her room, stark naked and crumpled into a ball as she sobbed hysterically. Ruth wasn’t sure what could be wrong, so she grabbed Gracie, looking for signs of blood, wounds or whatever she could find to see what was the matter.

Looking at her mommy through her tears, Gracie sobbed, “I can’t find a shirt to match these pants.”

Oh, the scenarios these young drama queens can come up with to make the lives of their moms interesting. To top it off, as it turned out, the pants she was trying to match were a pair of black leggings. “Just about everything in her closet matched those pants,” Ruth observed. “Sigh! My little diva!”

Naturally, Ruth was the only one who had bothered to respond to the crying kid. Dad Ron and brother Ronnie were unceremoniously awakened, of course, but they took their time coming across the hall. “I guess they knew she wasn’t dying,” said Ruth.

Ruth’s friends responded that they could relate. “I’m so glad I’m not the only one with a drama queen,” one of them posted on Facebook.

Becky recalled the time years ago when her compassionate twin sister, at that time her roommate, had come to her rescue when she was being “attacked” by her cat while she lay in bed. As I recall, Becky soon found a new home for her temperamental pet. “I can only hope you found her a shirt in time,” Becky commented.

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