The Herald Bulletin

Overnight Update

Columns

February 16, 2013

Theresa Timmons: Grandma's irritation is grandson's new adventure

When you have an outspoken 3 year-old living in your house, regular ol’ run-of-the-mill everyday life is a lot more interesting. After all, everyday life experiences are brand new to a toddler.

Take for example having a mouse in the kitchen.

For me, it is beyond irritating — it is downright revolting.

For a 3 year-old, it is more than an adventure. It is practically an awe-inspiring event.

I spent a day hosing down kitchen cabinets, drawers and cans of food with Clorox, as well as running loads of what-should-have-been clean dishes through the dishwasher. Cleaning up BM missiles after a rodent is a lot like work.

Cayden narrated the procedures. “Did da mouse poop on yew silvewawe mamaw?”

“You don’t have to say it out loud, but well ... yes, the mouse pooped on my silverware. And other stuff too.”

“Is dat nasty?”

“Yes. That’s why I’m cleaning. And we are gonna get that guy with some traps.” I was picturing a vengeful, gruesome death for the rodent as I inhaled the bleach fumes.

When the cleaning was done and the silverware was perched in a new temporary spot on the kitchen table, I set six traps. Six. If he took a step into my domain he couldn’t miss a trap. And my bait-o-choice ... peanut butter or Kraft cheese squares smashed into the bait pad. The dirty squeaker who violated my kitchen was doomed. If I was gonna die from Clorox inhalation, he was gonna die with cheese and peanut butter breath.

I waited.

Later that evening I checked the traps.

I found five traps. Five. One was gone. No sign of it, not a trace. I was floored. Had I underestimated my mouse? Was he bigger, smarter, or have a better sense of humor than the average mouse?

I found the trap later, in another room. It was empty and the bait pad was licked clean. I had a feeling if my mouse would’ve had access to matches, it would’ve been torched. I reset it.

Early the next morning I heard my bedroom door open and felt the presence of Cayden’s warm breath two inches from my face.

“Mamaw!” he whispered, “can we check yew twaps?”

My eyes popped open. “Let’s do it!” I got up and draped my Rambo-style machine gun bullets across my chest (don’t tell President Obama) and tied a camouflage bandana around my head.

“Get your light saber, Private Cayden, that’s an order,” I said.

Adequately armed, we checked the traps one by one. Our last trap was in the cabinet under the kitchen sink.

“No mouses,” he said, disappointed.

“Look again,” I told him. The trap was upside down, and a motionless tail was visible.

Cayden leaned in for a better look. Then he squealed. “We got yew mouse!!!”

I reached in and picked up the trap. The bar was squarely over the creatures neck, and aside from the slightly bulging eyes, he appeared to be sleeping.

“Can I see? Can I touch it? Can I get da mouse out? Is dere bwood?”

“No blood. You can look at it.” I held the trap so he could have a look at the dangling carcass.

“Wets show daddy!”

I liked that idea. His daddy was asleep, and I would enjoy providing a close up of a dead mouse when he opened his eyes.

Cayden excitedly burst into his daddy’s room. “Daddy! We got the mouse in the twap. It SNAPPED him!”

When his daddy opened his eyes, it was an exciting moment for him too.

There is nothing like life with a 3-year-old. But you have to be a grandma to fully appreciate dat.

Theresa Timmons’ column appears every first and third Sunday. She is an Elwood resident and can be reached at paperflinger40@yahoo.com.

1
Text Only
Columns
  • Clark, Big Joe mug [Duplicate] 'Big Joe' Clark: Plan your strategy for financing higher education Planning is essential regardless of the situation, but no plan is perfect. There will be flat tires and snow days, but there will also be dances and great memories. Let’s plan for what we can even if we know it won’t be perfect.

    August 1, 2014 1 Photo

  • Davis, Verna mug Verna Davis: Peace is worth fighting for Some people say they know how to find peace. We should “simply” follow our hearts, search for meaning in our lives, and fulfill our dreams. Sad to say, those things may bring us a bit of satisfaction, but they certainly don’t bring us peace.

    August 1, 2014 1 Photo

  • Jim Bailey: Gospel singer’s long road to recovery has begun Eighteen months ago, gospel singer and The Perrys manager Tracy Stuffle found himself wrecked by the side of the road, where he struggled to summon help on his cell phone. He had suffered a severe stroke while driving.

    July 30, 2014

  • OPN - Mootry column mug [Duplicate] [Duplicate] Primus Mootry: The African-American community toward a new narrative African Americans are entirely unique in the annals of American history and, perhaps, the whole history of mankind. This uniqueness demands an African American agenda and, with it, a new narrative, or way of articulating that agenda.

    July 29, 2014 1 Photo

  • underwood mug [Duplicate] [Duplicate] Scott Underwood: Headlines can capture imagination I'd just left the newspaper office one morning and was driving north on Jackson Street, when I stopped at a red light and glanced at the rearview mirror.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • Charo Boyd: 'My Social Security' simplifies your life So many people buzz through extremely busy and complicated schedules these days. A smartphone in one hand, a computer in front of you, and a digital task list that never seems to end. In addition, to complicate things just a little more, there’s another event you need to add to your list — National Simplify Your Life week.

    July 28, 2014

  • Maureen Hayden: 9/11 Commission chair scolds Congress for national security failures Retired Congressman Lee Hamilton has warned of the perils of political ideology, calling the body where he spent 34 years “noxiously partisan.” Now, he worries the divide is downright dangerous.

    July 27, 2014

  • Vaughan, Nancy mug [Duplicate] Nancy Vaughan: Fireworks and fireflies mean summer in full swing Hasn't July been a fabulous month? It began with multiple fireworks venues and parades and ends with fairs and football in full swing. We have been blessed with mild weather and if you haven't had to travel much outside of the county, roadwork has been minimal.

    July 26, 2014 1 Photo

  • Ken de la Bastide: City unions go without contracts for many years How Anderson deals with unions has changed dramatically over the years. In the past it would have been unheard of for union members to continue to work without a contract or an agreed upon deadline. But members of three unions that represent Anderson city employees have been working without a new contract agreement for up to seven years.

    July 26, 2014

  • Jim Bailey: Traveling by passenger train was a page from the past My wife doesn’t remember riding on a full-fledged passenger train as a baby. Our children have never ridden. It’s an experience rapidly going the way of the horse and buggy and the stagecoach throughout a nation now obsessed with jumbo jets and sport-utility vehicles.

    July 26, 2014

Featured Ads
More Resources from The Herald Bulletin
AP Video
Renewed Violence Taking Toll on Gaza Residents 2 Americans Detained in North Korea Seek Help US Employers Add 209K Jobs, Rate 6.2 Pct House GOP Optimistic About New Border Bill Gaza Truce Unravels; Israel, Hamas Trade Blame Raw: Tunisia Closes Borders With Libya Four Rescued From Crashed Plane Couple Channel Grief Into Soldiers' Retreat WWI Aviation Still Alive at Aerodrome in NY Raw: Rescuers at Taiwan Explosion Scene Raw: Woman Who Faced Death Over Faith in N.H. Clinton Before 9-11: Could Have Killed Bin Laden Netanyahu Vows to Destroy Hamas Tunnels Obama Slams Republicans Over Lawsuit House Leaders Trade Blame for Inaction
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Helium debate
Helium
Front page
Poll

How many Dan Patch races have you attended?

None
1-2
3 or more
All 20
     View Results