The Herald Bulletin

Morning Update


May 14, 2014

Jim Bailey: A lot of dumb crooks out there these days

Almost every day some dumb bunny validates my belief that crooks are the stupidest people on Earth.

In one case, a murderer was nabbed after he stayed on the scene long enough to relieve himself after killing a retired nun in Schenectady, N.Y. What did him in was the fact he left the toilet seat up at the crime scene. The lady lived alone, for crying out loud.

Accordingly, police checked the commode handle for fingerprints and DNA and matched them to prints found elsewhere in the apartment. The perp, a parole defector who the nun had also hired to shovel snow off her car, was detected on surveillance video as well.

Confronted with the evidence, he pleaded guilty.

Then there was the guy in Ireland who was injured when his own car bomb blew up in his face. The bomb destroyed an SUV and blew the doors off a nearby home, but only the alleged bomber, who fled in a taxi, was injured.

Sources said the debacle was brought about by the perpetrator apparently forgetting to switch to daylight saving time, which went into effect in the United Kingdom that day. “It would appear that the bomber got his timings wrong,” said one source. “It could be a case where he didn’t put his watch forward on Sunday and the timer went off too soon.” Or it could have been more likely he didn’t realize just how powerful the explosives were.

It’s one thing to steal a laptop computer. It’s quite another to get it serviced. So when the original owner got a thank-you email from Apple over a call to customer service a year after the laptop had been taken, police tracked down the alleged thief in Portsmouth, N.H.

No suspects had been identified in the original break-in. But detectives contacted Apple with the laptop’s serial number, which was flagged.

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