The Herald Bulletin

June 12, 2013

Primus Mootry: A humorous take on multi-tasking


The Herald Bulletin

---- — It’s a bizy world. Nowadays you have to be able to do more than one thing atatime and do it as quick as possible. That’s why people have blackberries. They can phone, pic, text, and research in a flash.

Go ahead. Try to find a pubic phone booth. Even if you did, you wouldn’t know where their hands have been or who sneezed on it, even a patient. You’re better off with your own berries.

That reminds me. I saw a man walking down the sidewalk, flapping his arms, and talking loud. I thought he was a crazy person. Come to find out, once I got closer to him, he had a blue tooth, walking and talking.

It’s not true multi-tasking, but it’s close. Sorry about that blue tooth guy, though. Still flapping his arms, he stepped into an intersection and caught a school bus. The laughing children looked unhurt, tho.

Whyle I’m righting this I’m half reading a book, almost shining my shoe, and kind of watching “Game of Thrones.” If someone calls me in my cell I might even talk. How cool is that? Multi-tasking is the wave of the fewture.

I used to think multi-tasking was the simultaneous and successful management of multiple complex tasks. I don’t mean like rocket sinus. Many simple things get complex when you do a lot of them at once.

For xample, I saw a woman driving her car, sending text messaging, and painting her tow nails one atatime. That’s multi. And a lot of people come home, turn on their flat screen, hop in their shower, and cook diner in the microwave all at the same time.

Another sample. If you get on the Enter Net you will find people in there saving time and space, which is money. They take a lot of shortcuts. Why, nowadays you can meet a person on the Net, fall in love, and marry without even meeting her.

This shortcut saves time, trouble, and expense. All it takes is temporary insanity and someone like you in a Net. After a day or two, if you get bored with her, just change your screen name.

Also, on the Enter Net, if they want to say today, they right 2day. Some things they don’t spell at all. Like LOL. LMAO. Stuff like that. It’s faster so you can listen to music, do research, fall in love and break up with your peer.

The Enter Net saves a lot of paper and ink, too. Unless, that is, you have a printer and you right a thing you want to printout. Some people don’t have 1 tho. They just emale stuff. But that’s ok. In fact, that’s where I get my social insecurity.

The main problem I see with multi task is that I say you should practice alot first. And you should practice at home or some really safe venue. Not in your car. That way you and nobody else gets killed, or worse, like Weiner.

Take that lady painting her toe while driving. If she has not practiced a lot she mite run into a tree or water hidrant or another car, a deer or school bus. Maybe even a blue toother.

Here’s another, but not the main idea. That NYC political person, Weiner, as already mentioned, is a former multi-tasker who hit the rong button and tweeted half-nude pics of himself to 75,000 unsuspecting Enter Net victims.

What a boner! He needed more practice. The day is over when only birds tweet. Now you can get famous with just one.

Also, again not the main thing, but think. Some schools are cutting out righting, period. I mean the curses type of it. What’s the use? Who cares if people can’t read, right, or mispel?

Plus, the truth is that not many people read anymore. Their too busy. So mostly they just watch, listen, and flap their arms like the guy under the bus.

Now, some of our older population still think it’s butter to do 1 thing atatime: if your reading, read. If you’re watching TV, watch it. If you’re micro-waving, do it out of the shower. And so on.

This shouldn’t be shocking. Practice makes perfict. And I say to those senior denizens to get with it. Like before, multi is the wave of the fewture.

Gotta go. But I’ve done lots of things while righting this, and all without a single misteak.

Have a nice date.

Anderson resident Primus Mootry is a retired school teacher. His column appears Wednesdays in The Herald Bulletin.