The Herald Bulletin

Evening Update

Columns

January 17, 2014

Verna Davis: Some last words should never be disputed

Remember "MASH"? Not mash like in potatoes, but "MASH" as in the comical TV series about a serious war in Korea. The characters of Hawkeye Pierce and B.J. Honeycutt were always good-naturedly arguing with each other. But in one particular episode, Hawkeye had had his fill with B.J.'s witty comebacks. Hawkeye challenged, "You always have to have the last word, don't you?" B.J. sweetly answered, "No, I don't." Then, for the rest of the episode, the two bantered back and forth regarding that precious last word. For every proof provided by Hawkeye that B.J. always spoke the last word, B.J. would respond with, "That's not true." The more frustrated Hawkeye became, the more B.J. would (seemingly innocently, of course), provide the last word.

We all want to have the last word, don't we? We all want our words to be utterly undisputed, totally respected, and completely obeyed. Anything less is just wrong!

Some last words speak for themselves, and we don't have to imagine what happens after these last words are uttered. For instance, when someone's last words are "I wonder where the mother bear is," you know what happens next. When a person with more bravery than brains says, "I've seen this done on TV," you know things are not going to turn out like they do on TV. And we should be relieved we are not standing next to a person whose last words are, "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

Some last words should never be disputed. For instance, when someone says, "Duck," you should not look for a web-footed critter, nor should you ask why, you should merely duck. You'll be glad you let it be the last word.

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