The Herald Bulletin

Afternoon Update


September 14, 2013

Theresa Timmons: Getting ready for the Hilly Hundred, one mile at a time


The down side of choosing to ride on obscure county roads with light traffic is the condition of the roads. My teeth chattered as my skinny bike tires transferred every single aberration in the asphalt to my head. My left hand fell asleep first, which was only a problem if I needed to brake. I was also rethinking the backpack/laptop idea, which was beginning to feel like a small child hanging off my shoulders.

It occurred to me that I apparently ride with my mouth wide open and my tongue hanging out. Besides probably looking weird, it also dries out the tongue, which turns into a flap of fleshy fly paper and catches all sorts of airborne insects. My smoothie was really unnecessary since I consumed a high protein grasshopper and four other small bugs.

I was getting a little winded, since I couldn't quite sing the breathy part of "I Will Always Love You" along with Whitney Houston. This is when gearing on a bike is important. My legs needed a little rest so I shifted to an easier gear by beating my now dead floppy right hand against the shifter. You do have to pedal faster to maintain the same speed in an easy gear. So my legs were temporarily a blur, like the Road Runner. It was such a nice rest.

I kept pedaling and sucking in that good ol' Indiana oxygen. My mind was so clear. I felt like I could probably do math. I thought about important things. I decided the wheel tax should be doubled, and possibly cans placed in convenience stores for road work donations. I almost successfully yodeled with Leanne Rimes and Eddie Arnold during the "Cattle Call" song in my ear.

And I decided next time I would purchase a lighter laptop.

Text Only
Featured Ads
More Resources from The Herald Bulletin
AP Video
Couple Channel Grief Into Soldiers' Retreat WWI Aviation Still Alive at Aerodrome in NY Raw: Rescuers at Taiwan Explosion Scene Raw: Woman Who Faced Death Over Faith in N.H. Clinton Before 9-11: Could Have Killed Bin Laden Netanyahu Vows to Destroy Hamas Tunnels Obama Slams Republicans Over Lawsuit House Leaders Trade Blame for Inaction Malaysian PM: Stop Fighting in Ukraine Cantor Warns of Instability, Terror in Farewell Ravens' Ray Rice: 'I Made a Huge Mistake' Florida Panther Rebound Upsets Ranchers Small Plane Crash in San Diego Parking Lot Busy Franco's Not Afraid of Overexposure Fighting Blocks Access to Ukraine Crash Site Dangerous Bacteria Kills One in Florida Workers Dig for Survivors After India Landslide Texas Scientists Study Ebola Virus Smartphone Powered Paper Plane Debuts at Airshow Southern Accent Reduction Class Cancelled in TN

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Helium debate
Front page

Do you think school is starting too early?

Yes, it shouldn't start until after Labor Day.
Yes, it shouldn't start for another week or so.
No, it's about right.
Not sure.
     View Results