The Herald Bulletin

Afternoon Update

Faces of Domestic Violence

October 4, 2012

Dinner raises awareness, honors volunteers

Alternatives, Inc. shelter receives $4,000 in donations at domestic violence event

ANDERSON, Ind. — Andrea Carlile said her story is one of hope, one she dreams can help change someone else’s life.

And if just one family is saved through sharing her tale — a journey from the brink of death with a gun being held to her head by her husband to today, where she is reconciled with that same man — then it is all worthwhile.

Carlile and her husband, Wes, spoke to more than 100 people at the Madison County Domestic Violence Coalition’s Awareness Dinner Thursday evening at Madison Park Church of God.

The Anderson couple shared their story that Andrea Carlile documents in the book “The War That Came Home,” focusing on Wes Carlile’s battle with post-traumatic stress disorder and domestic violence.

“I never thought I would be abusive,” he told the attendees. “I grew up in an abusive home and have the scars to prove it.”

But when he came home from Iraq and subsequent deployments, the Army’s chaplain assistant bottled up all the tragedy he’d seen. He sought treatment though, shocked into it after his wife decided to leave him.

“I’m a better man now that I ever was before,” Wes Carlile said. “I’m a better father, officer and EMT because I know what it feels like to hurt and unfortunately what it feels like to hurt other people.”

Like his wife, he hopes the book touches and changes families.

“If it can help one person, the journey and the scars on my heart are worth it,” Wes Carlile said.

In addition to the Carliles’ speech, those who had gone above and beyond in assisting victims of domestic violence were recognized.

  • Elwood police reserve officer John Davis was recognized for actively participating in several awareness events and fundraisers for Alternatives, as well as donating appliances and furniture to victims in need.
  • Gay Doss, Madison County victim assistance provider with the Sheriff’s Department, was honored for her role in assisting the family of Amanda Wiles as one of the first responders to the scene and her continued support of the Wiles family.
  • CASA volunteer Nellie Elsten was recognized as “the type of volunteer that everyone dreams of” and for doing an excellent job encouraging and mentoring new volunteers.
  • Alternatives victims advocate Kandi Floyd was honored for her compassion for victims and their families as well as her commitment to prevention and education.
  • Sheriff’s deputy David Kollros was recognized for his understanding of the dynamics of domestic violence and ensuring that victims are aware of their rights and other important information.

Text Only
Faces of Domestic Violence
  • 1028 news Domestic Violence illustration06 - Copy.JPG Who can stop domestic violence? You

    The elimination of abuse in relationships — with time, cooperation and commitment — is possible, said Colleen Yeakle, coordinator of the Indiana Coalition of Domestic Violence’s (ICADV) prevention initiative.

    October 27, 2012 1 Photo 5 Stories

  • Legislation comes a long way, but more change needed

    Each year the Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence sets its legislative priorities based on year-round discussions with its members and legislators to see what needs are out there and what is going on in the field.

    October 27, 2012

  • 1028 news Empty Table Settings 18a.jpg Children affected by abuse too

    While some may think the atmosphere at Alternatives, the Anderson domestic violence shelter, would be a somber one, instead it is a building filled with laughter and joy.

    October 27, 2012 1 Photo

  • Gissendanner, Kristy.jpg Kristy Gissendanner: 'Vivacious and sweet'

    Six-day-old Gabrielle Gissendanner and her 18-month-old brother Michael weren’t far from their mom when Harry Gissendanner shot and killed Kristy in their Anderson home in 2004.

    October 27, 2012 1 Photo

  • John Davis: ‘Defined by your actions and inactions’

    John Davis wants his pain to make a difference. He’s hopeful sharing what he experienced and witnessed growing up will empower someone else to leave a dangerous situation or avoid it altogether.

    October 27, 2012

  • ‘It was life-altering’

    Casey Huffman should have taken her son Camdon to his first day of kindergarten this year. She should be picking out a Halloween costume for him. She should be thinking about how to help him achieve his hopes and dreams. Instead, Casey mourns over his all-too-early death.

    October 27, 2012

  • Tomlinson, Tina.tif Tina Tomlinson: 'She was a hoot'

    Tina Tomlinson was just “plain fun,” her family recalled. The mother of two and dedicated grandmother was someone family could look to for a good time.

    October 27, 2012 1 Photo

  • 1024 news Domestic violence forum 108a.jpg Domestic violence prevention is possible, expert says

    Gender stereotypes are just one thing that Todd Cawthorn and five other speakers, during a 90-minute panel discussion Tuesday night, talked about that create an environment where domestic violence is accepted.

    October 23, 2012 3 Photos

  • 1023 news Dating violence talk 33a.jpg Teens can be victims of domestic violence, too

    Dating violence has been seen locally in relationships as young as sixth grade, Alternatives Inc. prevention specialist Todd Cawthorn said.

    October 22, 2012 2 Photos

  • 1021 news pendleton town court 020.jpg Justice for victims

    While a protective order is an important piece of the legal puzzle that domestic violence victims have to solve, Judge Stephen Clase stresses to each that it is, after all, “just a piece of paper.” “They won’t stop a knife or a bullet,” he said. “I tell them they need to be on guard at all times.”

    October 20, 2012 1 Photo

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  • Where to find help

    Alternatives Inc., 24-hour crisis line
    (765) 643-0200 or (866) 593-9999
    Kandi Floyd, Christy Clark, Dara Tracy -- victim’s advocates
    Victims Assistance Program, Madison County Sheriff’s Department
    (765) 646-4078 or (765) 646-4079
    Gay Doss, Jaime Wilhoite -- victim assistance providers
    Victim Assistance Program, Madison County Prosecutor‘s Office
    (765) 641-9673
    Melinda Padgett, Karla Montgomery, Alison Lutz, Gracie Roman, Laura Evans -- victim assistance providers
    Victim Assistance Unit, Anderson Police Department
    (765) 648-6773, Lessa Johnson, Christy Jones -- victim assistance specialists
    Sowers of Seeds Counseling, Batters’ Intervention Program
    (765) 649-3452
    Vaughn Walker -- supervisor

    Anonymous The Herald Bulletin Fri, October 12
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