Recessions can make some romances more challenging, experts say, especially for those who’ve already said “I do.” The stress that comes with fear, financial problems and economic uncertainty can drive a wedge between partners.

And the most committed bachelors aren’t developing a sudden hankering to buy princess-cut engagement rings.

Instead, the shifts are subtle: a devoted singleton going on more first dates; casual daters seeking long-term relationships; partners who might not have been attractive a while back — someone younger or older, someone who lives in a “geographically undesirable” area — looking much better.

At the Chicago wine bar In Fine Spirits, the changing dating culture has lead to a roughly 30 percent increase in the number of parties of two, said general manager Brandon Wise.

“With such a tenuous climate right now, I think people are looking for stability in their partner,” he said. “I think it’s less haphazard dating and more pointed dating.”

A gentler tone is taking over, daters and observers say, with substance gaining over style.

For Mili Thomas, a 28-year-old graduate student in New York, that means she now spends time with men who didn’t show up on her radar screen before the recession. Among them: a Ph.D. who would have been nixed because he lives in New Jersey and an employee at a marketing firm who wouldn’t have made the grade because he is two years her junior.

“I figured this was the best possible time to explore other options since people’s lives have been turned topsy turvy,” she said. “I think everyone is more open to bucking convention given that ’the usual’ has gone out the window.”

———

On the Net:

www.eharmony.com

www.okcupid.com

www.nerdsatheart.com

www.infinespirits.com