The Herald Bulletin

Morning Update


November 30, 2012

Editorial: What has that Whitesell dude been smoking, anyway?

Editor’s note: We’ve got to poke a little fun at Indiana State Police Superintendent Paul Whitesell after his confusing statements about marijuana legalization last week. Here’s a tongue-in-cheek memo to Whitesell:


First you say let’s legalize pot. Then, just hours later, you say let’s not.

Or that’s what an ISP spokesman says you meant to say when you said the opposite, anyway.

Not cool. Not cool, at all.

What are you, a superintendent — or an averageintendent?

Come on now, be real. Tell us what you really think.

Just think if pot were legal and taxable. Gnarly.

It’d be vacancy time at the county lock-up and the state pen.

Fewer marijuana laws, fewer criminals, dude. And just think of all the bread Joe Taxpayer would save.

First Colorado and Washington. Now Indiana!

But, Mr. Whitesell, if you really didn’t mean it, then I gotta ask: What you been smokin’ that made you say it in the first place?

Maybe the ISP spokesman, Dave Bursten, was puttin’ words in your mouth after your pro-pot comments. To quote a press release from Bursten: “The making of such laws are not the purview of the State Police. Although the superintendent personally understands the theoretical argument for taxation and legalization, as a police officer with over 40 years of experience he does not support the legalization of marijuana.”

Purview, huh? Riiiight.

This was after Whitesell had said: “My thought is, toward the zenith of my career, it (pot) is here, it’s going to stay. That’s an awful lot of victimization that goes with it. If it were up to me I do believe I would legalize it and tax it, particularly in sight of the fact that several other states have now come to that part of their legal system as well.”

Zenith. Awesome word.

But say what you mean and mean what you say, dude. Otherwise, it ain’t nothin’ but a smoke screen.

Cannabis Jones

Jamaica, Ind.

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