The Herald Bulletin

Evening Update

Community

November 8, 2013

Verna Davis: God is God, we are not — get used to it

If I were in charge of the world, I would make sure that under-eye concealers would actually conceal the bags under my eyes. I would make my cheeks blush only when I want them to, and my lipstick would never wear off. I would make my eyes do their own "bifocaling" so I would no longer need glasses. And that's just to take care of my face.

If I were in charge of the world, I would make sure that creme-filled doughnuts would have no calories. Lettuce would never wilt and milk would never sour. Butter would always melt on your pancakes. And that's just to take care of things until supper.

If I were in charge of the world, I would declare extra large and extra soft flannel jammies are now the epitome of elegant evening wear. I would make sure that clothes would never again shrink in the dryer. I would declare ironing out of date, as wrinkles would now be high fashion. I would make all shoes, even those dressy little numbers with narrow straps and high heels, be as comfortable as last season's tennis shoes. And that's just to take care of my closet.

If I were in charge of the world, I would program my husband to periodically inquire on any car trip of over five miles, "How about stopping at that cute little quilt shop you like so much?" All teenagers would ask three times a day "What else can I do to help you, Mom?" All snakes would be extinct and poison ivy would no longer be poisonous. And that's just to take care of little old me.

If I were in charge of the world, I would make sure that everyone in the church loved each other deeply. I would make arguments over music magically disappear. I would make sure women never again engaged in a battle of who reigns supreme in the kitchen or nursery. Sermons would be theologically sound, intellectually stimulating, and sufficiently humorous to keep my attention, yet never last more than the obligatory 20 minutes. And that's just to take care of my church.

Text Only
Community
  • FEA - HB0725 - 13 The Musical - JC - 1.JPG Review: Musical takes you back to being '13'

    Wanting to kill your mom and pining for a Wonderbra are typical desires young teenage girls have, but that just scratches the surface of the relatable themes in Mainstage Theatre’s production of “13: The Musical.”

    July 24, 2014 3 Photos

  • FEA - HB0726 - Naturalist Day Camp - JC 5 Mounds camps offer outdoor fun "Can toads go in the pool?" It's one of the many questions Douglass and other interpretive naturalists received during Naturalists Day Camp, the second of three day camps Mounds Park is offering this summer.

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • Verna Davis: Seek peace by turning from evil and doing good There's something we all want: peace. World peace. Family peace. Personal peace. We yearn for peace, a feeling of freedom from commotion and antagonism, of harmony in our relationships, of lack of strife or dissension. What would we do to have peace in our lives?

    July 25, 2014

  • Church News: July 26 The following are brief Church News items of local interest.

    July 25, 2014

  • Community Briefs: July 25 A compilation of community news as published in the Friday edition of The Herald Bulletin.

    July 25, 2014

  • Live music: July 25

    Live entertainment at local venues as published in the Friday edition of The Herald Bulletin.

    July 24, 2014

  • FEA - HB0724 - Amputee Support - JC 3 Supporting limb loss awareness

    A small group of amputees gathered for the Second Annual Show Your Mettle Day at Frazier’s Dairy Maid on Friday. The event, which offered free ice cream to amputees thanks to Prevail Prosthetics and Orthotics, served as a meet and greet to help support limb loss awareness in the community.

    July 24, 2014 3 Photos

  • Jim Bailey: Now if Grace beats Bethel... Fans in the United States are just now waking up to the complexities of World Cup soccer, which is a lot more popular around the world than it is here.

    July 24, 2014

  • Community Briefs: July 24 A compilation of community news items as published in the Thursday edition of The Herald Bulletin.

    July 24, 2014

  • NWS - HB0723 - Fair Food - JC 3 The 'fairest food of all' Rides along the midway and 4-H animals may be a big draw for the county fair, but there's plenty of food people look forward to and indulge in during the Madison County 4-H Fair.

    July 23, 2014 3 Photos

Reader Pet Photos


We're looking for your best pet photos! Share your photos of your favorite non-human companions in our new photo gallery. Click here to upload your photos

Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
More Resources from The Herald Bulletin