The Herald Bulletin

Morning Update


June 15, 2013

Theresa Timmons: Dishwasher drama amounts to lots of waiting


Fortunately we had prepared for its passing, and had another dishwasher waiting in the shed. The shed door is approximately 50 feet from the house.

Three days later, I looked longingly at the shed through the kitchen window, as I washed dishes - by hand. Husband Seth was watching television in the next room.

On day five, I glared at the shed door while I washed dishes as loud as I could, and slammed the non-breakables on the counter. Seth turned up the television.

On day seven, Seth brought the new dishwasher to the deck by the back door. He removed the broken dishwasher from its den and dragged it to the deck. And introduced them to each other.

On day eight, it rained on the deck. And on both dishwashers. I swept the floor in the gaping hole where the dishwasher was supposed to be. I also enjoyed a brief homicidal fantasy which involved me shoving Seth into the dishwasher space, and nailing plywood over the opening.

On day 10, I announced that I wasn’t doing another dish until the dishwasher was replaced. I felt momentarily liberated. My happiness was carried away by the infestation of ants, who arrived for the feast on the landfill of dirty dishes.

On day 12, it became clear that dirty dishes on the counters have more impact on my well-being than on Seth’s well-being. I purchased some alcohol and drank it on the deck while I talked to the dishwashers about the state of my marriage.

On day 15, I explained that there would be no more food produced in the kitchen until the dishwasher was replaced.

The next day, Seth stepped out on the deck.

”Well, hey dad. What brings you off the couch?” the lounging-in-the-sun 27 year-old asked.

Day 16 — dishwasher installed.

Theresa Timmons’ column appears every first and third Sunday. She is an Elwood resident and can be reached at

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